your parents love me but you hate me
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
from now on my penis is your penis
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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