Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
