is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize