She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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