am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
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