I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
