I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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