im drinking this country out of the recession.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
