I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
