I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
