Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
