I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
