Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize