last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
