Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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