Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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