And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
