we have pet lesbian snakes
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
