I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You don't make any sense
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