U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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