Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
