living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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