I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
