I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
