Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Your dad touched me again.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
