Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
