whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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