i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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