i don't plan on having that self control this summer
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
