yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
All I want is dick and wine.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
