On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
