Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
