i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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