We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
