Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
