he told me I talked like a deaf person
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
