That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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