his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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