I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
