so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
