I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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