Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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