my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
