OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
