I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
