My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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