1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
