LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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