He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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