Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
4 words: hood of his car
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
