you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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