I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
