It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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