My pussy is not your playground.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
