Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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