dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
