I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
