is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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