Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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