Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize