I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
