I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
