you mean i was at the winter classic?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize