I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I came so hard my ears popped.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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