This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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