You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just pee around me
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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