i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
