I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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