Welp...herpes.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
This is the high leading the old right now
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
