I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
