I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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