Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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