Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
