the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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