You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
