i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize