i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
