I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
