Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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