so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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