First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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