you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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