I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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