Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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